Grace of Another Year

.....that undeserved GIFT of GRACE again.

Many (three to be precise) of the people I know today are celebrating their birthday and I've just realized that they all spent their day in different ways.

Unwittingly, this made me think that each of them had his/her own priorities in life. And that how they spent their special days, somehow, reflected what these are. How we spend our respective special days depicts ours too.

What this tells us is that what we prioritize the most reflects what's in our hearts. It reflects where we invest our efforts, our time, our strength. And that whether we realize it or not, these things are also where we fasten our security on.

I just hope that each of us will examine whether these objects of security are really secure.

Friends.Wild parties.Family.Studies.Booze.Beauty.Books.Travels.Shopping. Beaus.

Are these secure?

And where can we find security in the first place?

**************************************************************
It's in there. IN THAT UNDESERVED GRACE. If we only realize how great it is...

Even brand new years added to us is merely because of grace. We don't deserve it, but it's there anyway.

Like a birthday that happens every year without us asking for it, this grace is also freely given. No one owes it to us, in the same way that nobody is compelled to give us another year to live... But it happens annually without us having to work for it. And like a birthday not spent wisely, we miss the beauty of grace most of the time because we sought security it in the wrong venues. And even then, grace is still available... Now, to take up on this grace is a decision each of us must make.

As we face new years, let's not forget to examine our hearts because....

*Where your heart is. There your treasure will be also*



Happy week. Til then...

Sabaw

Sabaw

n. a state of shock, disappointment, sadness, frustration and BLANKNESS after a hard exam

adj. term used by most UP students to describe the result of studying (cramming) overnight for a test consisting of 10 chapters (or more) of reading

adj. term used to describe a constant aftereffect of any exam given by the UP Manila DPSM

Sabaw na sabaw - superlative term

example: May bukas pa.. sa iyong buhay.. tutulungan ka ng Diyos, na may lalang! -> kanta ng mga taong SABAW pagkatapos ng DepEx sa Chem 40.

Where do I go from here?

Posted on: April 21, 2009 during one of my hardest decision-making moments...

Decisions. Decisions. Decisions.

There’s this driver inside a car. He’s got a map with lots of enlisted destinations. He’s also got a full tank of fuel. The road is clear in front of him. He’s set to go. Now, the question: where does he go from here?

The car and its fuel embody the vessel and potentials in a person. This may be in the form of physical, mental, social, emotional and even material aspects of a person’s totality. The bottom line is, they enable you to go somewhere else.

The map is the symbol for choices/goals in life. They are right there under our noses but we always have difficulty in choosing because of various reasons. A famous one would be too much of it. Sometimes, if we have too many things to pick from, we end up not picking anything at all.

The driver? Well it’s simple. It is us. It is I. Despite the possession of a map and the car with the full tank, it always falls on the driver if he will get somewhere else. Without him doing anything, it all amounts to nothing. The map of choices. The full-tanked potentials. They’re useless. He’ll end up not getting anywhere.

Too many decisions to make. So little time.

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

Now, another set of rhetoric questions.

Should I stick to it and give more to my studies? Should I change course? Or should I quit academic life entirely?

I’ll never know. I’m too tired. I can't even think.

******************************************

And why am I even thinking this?
1) I’m demented. I just lost my mind along with other important parts of my personality.
2) I am suffering severe aftereffects of Chem 31 DepEx.

Sorry, I can’t decide which is the more plausible reason.

**************************

My deepest apologies...

Hi! It's been quite a while since I last wrote here.

Well, I wrote Where do i go from here last April during our summer semester... I altered its date last night because I find the entire thing funny now.... So, yeah. I definitely need to post some new ones here. Unfortunately, I have been very busy lately, what with school, Church and all that stuff. But I will make it a point to allot a certain time to finalize my posts. They are in one of my folders and it seems to me like they are all half-finished. Talk about time management.

In lined with this, I thank those who take time to read my ramblings here. I hope you learned something from them. ^_^

Future posts coming soon!

His Missive

I’m covered up in dirt, my scars cut me deep
My sins are so great I feel as though I can never be forgiven
I’ve made so many mistakes, told so many lies
Is there any way to go back again?
Go back to Your grace, go back to Your love
Soak in Your presence again, feel the freedom of knowing I’m forgiven
Is there any way I can escape from myself?
And lose myself in Your love once again?

I’ve been broken down so many times
Is there any way God could still love me?
Is there any way He could still be here with me?
Is it true that the voice I hear whispering over me is Yours?
Is it true that if I run to You I will be safe from the lies?
Is it true that You still love me after all I’ve done?

I’ve been lost so many times, heard so many lies
Lord are You still there? I can’t believe You would still be here!
The tears keep falling, the pain I can’t escape
Lord will You come and rescue me?

Are You willing to set me free?
Are You still there waiting for me to return home to You?
Are You still there waiting to forgive me for all the times I’ve failed?

This season has been so long, I can’t find my way back home
I’m not sure who You are and who is the enemy
I’m not sure what is the truth and what is the lie
So many voices surround me, how do I know which one is Yours?
The winds are blowing, the rains are pouring
The oceans are rising, I’m dying inside
Lord come and hold me safe in Your arms tonight

I can’t stop the tears from falling, the pain won’t go away
I try to trust You, but I keep failing and failing You
I try to hold on to You but I keep letting go and slipping away
This darkness has been here too long I can’t take it anymore
Lord will You please come, Lord do You even hear my cries?
Or are You just some distant God waiting to fail me like everyone else has?

No! I declare this truth, God is who He is
No matter where I am, no matter what storms rage around me
Jesus is God and He is here with me, protecting me from myself
He still loves me and He has forgiven me
His blood has washed me white, His love keeps me holding on
There is no way to escape His love, there is no way to escape His presence

He whispers over me, “My child it is never too late,
I am still here and I won’t let you go,
I see your scars and dirt but I am waiting for you
Waiting to forgive you and set you free once again
My love never ends no matter where you go, no matter where you’ve been
Even when you let go my love is still holding on to you
My Spirit is falling upon you, my blood is washing you clean
Now you stand before me a new creation

You stand before me as though you’ve never sinned
You are still my beautiful child and I will never let you go
I will make you whole once again, this season will soon be over
The pain, the dirt, the scars, everything you once were is no more
You are a new creation in my eyes, a new child glistening with light
You are never far from me because I am always with you holding on to you
I love you so much, although you have sinned and failed my love is still there
I am waiting for you to come back home, I know how much you are hurting
But soon I will heal you, I will provide all your needs
Even when you don’t trust me I am still there
Although you are broken you are just as beautiful to me”.

“My child listen to my voice, stay close to me
And my voice will drown out the lies
I will never let you go, my love will never end
The way I see you will never change
I have heard every sigh, every cry, I am with you
When the storms of life rage on, I will still be here
When the thunders roar and oceans rise
I am still holding you , I will be your refuge, your place
Just hold on to me and trust that when you let go I am still here
I still love you, I still forgive you, your sins are still forgotten
Just trust me and I will do the rest
Just trust me and I will be here
Trust me, I am here
Trust me, I'll never let go of you
Trust me, I never will
Trust me





I LOVE YOU”.

Kabataan

“What is youth?”

This is the very first thing that I wrote about four years ago. I was barely a freshmen student in high school then. Eagerly, I was determined to join any of the school’s publication despite the lack of knowledge and experience in writing. This was the topic given to the hopeful students who want to join our school’s publication. Eventually, I was qualified in the said screening but until now, I’m not really satisfied with what I wrote four years ago.

What is youth? Is it a time, a stage of life? Is it wholly a matter of ripe cheeks, red lips or agile knees? Well my dear friends, if these are your ideas of youth, I say it's time to set them straight.

Youth is a state of mind. It is a temper of the will, a quality of the imagination, vigor of the emotions, and a freshness of the deep springs of life. It means a highly strung prevalence of bravery over timidity, of an appetite for adventure over love of ease. This is probably why Jose Rizal said that the youth is the hope of our nation, because he knew that great ideas that can help our country will come from the youth.
(But are we really contributing? I certainly hope so.)

Nobody grows old merely by living a number of years. People grow old only by leaving their ideals. Years may wrinkle the skin, but to give up interest wrinkles the soul. Worry, uncertainty, self disbelief, terror and hopelessness – these are the long, long years that bow the head and turn the growing spirit back to dust.

Whatever your years, there is in every being’s heart the love of wonder, the constant child-like appetite for what’s next, and the bliss and game of life, the daring challenge of events. You are as young as your conviction, as old as your hesitation; as young as your self-confidence, as old as your trepidation; as young as your optimism, as old as your gloom. In the central place of every heart, there is a recording hollow; so long as it receives messages of beauty, hope, joyfulness and bravery, so long are you young.

When the wires are all down and your heart is covered with the snows of pessimism and the ice of cynicism, then, and only then are you out of the springtime of life.

Let's not waste our youth. Let's live our potentials. Let's strive for excellence!

Vexatious

vexa·tious (-s̸həs)

adjective

1. characterized by or causing vexation; annoying, troublesome, etc

modif.

1. annoying, bothersome, irritating; see disturbing.

Example:
As I was traveling from Marikina to Malate, the VEXATIOUS driver of the cab I was fortunate to ride in today, almost got us both killed - several times (must be some stomach problem or something on his part).

Operose

op·er·ose (äp′ə rōs′)

adjective

1. done with or requiring much toil
2. very busy; industrious

Etymology: L operosus < opus (gen. operis), work: see opus

Example: I did some OPEROSE jogging and badminton sessions with Van and Nash in Marikina sports complex today. Equally OPEROSE are our efforts in remembering our high school days.

Exorbitant

ex·or·bi·tant (-tənt)

adjective
going beyond what is reasonable, just, proper, usual, etc.; excessive; extravagant: said esp. of charges, prices, etc.

modif.
excessive, extravagant, inordinate, immoderate; see excessive, expensive, extreme 2. See syn. study at excessive.

Etymology: ME < L exorbitans, prp. of exorbitare, to go out of the track < ex-, out + orbita, a track, orbit

Example: Our shopping binge in Divisoria was anything but EXORBITANT.

Photoshoot in Gumasa: How to model UK gowns

I have this brewing inside me for like, I don't know, three years? Heck. Anyway, I was just so glad my parents (finally) agreed that we go out to the coast near to Indonesia to have my photoshoot. The place is called 'Gumasa', a very new and still unexplored tourist attraction in Sarangani province. I wish I can tell you we went to Boracay, but I found out that the place offers an even better beach than Bora.

The coastline of Gumasa

My model called in sick and the camera that I was supposed to use was unavailable. I ended up making do of whatever resources were available at that time. I borrowed my churchmate's Brica camera (I forgot the model but it's the one that's designed more conducive for taking videos than pictures) that's not even a DSLR. It was raining which means BAD for every photographer, what with the poor lighting and all. But I can't back out now. I've no choice because I already moved heaven and earth (aka my parents' permission and my schedule) for this thing to happen.

Rio, our former help, served as the tripod and the 'clicker' (if such a word exist). I became the director, in-charge of lights and (can you believe it) the model. My sister also modeled for me but she said the other poses were just too weird for her so I modeled the rest of the clothes.

Anyway, I wore very beautiful UK (ukay-ukay) gowns, which I discovered during one of my spur-of-the-moment trips to Kabacan, North Cotabato. Each cost me 150-250Php only. I know the place is notorious for its bombing but believe me, the treasure trove that is the ukay-ukay there is worth it!

All in all, I'm glad about the way the photos turned out. The photos with the light blue gown on me was taken the following day, which is sunny by the way, so it had better results.

Camera courtesy of: Paquito Mirafuentes
Clothes by: April and Spring
Photoshoot directed by: Spring
Photos taken by: Spring, Rio
Make-up and hair: Faye
Models: April, Faye

How To Model UK Gowns

These are few of those shots. The rest can be found in http://s519.photobucket.com/albums/u353/weirdyaef/How%20to%20wear%20UK%20dresses/?start=40

Hope to be doing this again. With better equipments the next time.

Bridge to Terabithia

I know you think this is a review of the Movie Bridge to Terabithia. But I must warn you ahead of time; this isn’t purely about the film. On the contrary this is a reflection of one of my fondest memories which was brought upon by watching the said movie – thus the title of the post.

It all happened right after we had our lunch.

My sister cooked practically half of the stuffs laid on our table. They are comprised of rice, sautéd vegetables and fried fish. I, on the other hand, prepared the dessert and the beverages. I have a penchant for shakes and salads so; it fell on me (as the least talented in cooking) to prepare the fruit shakes and the desserts. I provided mango shake and avocado shake as beverage and fresh Durian as dessert for this meal.

Most of the time, especially when I and my three sisters are present at home, this is the routine. They cook; I take care of whatever is left to be taken care of. This time though, there were only two of us present. We still managed. I cleaned up after the meal and my parents went to attend to our business.

April (older by three years) and I then went inside the house to amuse ourselves with whatever it is that we could amuse ourselves with. I played the violin; she played her flute. A few minutes later, we both turned towards the TV. For days now, I couldn’t find the ‘movie channels’ (our satellite’s been behaving weird lately) but by some wink of luck, I managed to find Star Movies. There, I saw Bridge to Terabithia.

*************

The movie was about two kids who weaved their own world (Terabithia) through their combined minds.


I thought the two looked good together, but anyway, the movie was for children so I highly doubt that the intent of the producers was to make the audience think of romance. It’s probably just the hopeless romantic in me that made me notice this fact (^_^).


I love the way the makers of the movie unfolded the story of the two ‘misfits’ and how they became friends. I was also delighted about the way the difference in Leslie’s and Jess’s family was portrayed (the psychologist in me talking).

It was saddening though, that the girl had to die in the end and that the boy almost ended up ruining himself because of guilt. See, at a certain point in the movie, the boy went to a museum with his beautiful teacher (who also happens to be his crush). All the while the girl went alone to Terabithia (the wood at the back of their house) where she drowned and died. The boy then wallowed in shame and guilt. He thought that if he only invited the girl to the museum, she wouldn’t have drowned.

Guilt is funny that way. It makes one irrational, that although some things are beyond our control and we don’t intend for it to happen, we still blame ourselves. I guess there is no worse critic of oneself than oneself. Anyway, it was only during the end of the movie that the boy managed to get over his burden and move on. He finally decided to embrace life for what it was; the girl being dead and him being alive.
****************

I think the girl’s presence in his life made an impact not only to him but also to his family. In the latter part of the movie I’ve seen how his dad’s attitude towards him changed (for the better in my opinion). I’ve also seen his maturity after the crisis. Another truth that is in the movie; after a trial, we either become stronger or weaker. In this case, the boy opted for the path that will make him better.

And yet another wisdom shared in the movie was “The best joy in life is working well at something worth doing”. This was said by the girl’s father during one of their house-painting sessions. Quite piercing to those who are forcing themselves upon doing something they don’t really want, such as, I don’t know, taking up a course that is not really of your liking? Sticking to a job you hate? It tells us to reconsider. It is known that God wants us to have joy in life. He made us for His glory. But then, how can we bring Him glory if we always feel miserable? I believe then that we don’t have to deprive ourselves of options. Life is short.

**************

Okay. So I was busy watching this movie and filing away some nice lessons when my gaze fell upon my sister. I was astonished of the fact that she was sniffing and secretly wiping her tears. Yes, I know. On some level, although my sister does not really confide that much things in me, I understood that she cried because she unwittingly put herself in the boy’s shoes. I understand that she loves her friends and that if things like those in the movie happens to them, she would also feel bad.

Funny is that thing called friendship. I admit, I can’t really relate that well to it. The closest things I have to best friends are my sisters. I have friends of course but not best friends. And let me get this straight, I’m not bitter about it. I guess that’s the price of independence. Relying solely in God and yourself in times of trouble really has its way of you being not-too-attached with anyone.

***************

Actually, my sister isn’t the only one who has musings of her own. During the middle of the movie, there was a scene where the two friends built a tree house. I remember when we were little we built our very own tree house as well. We sawed. We hammered. We cooked using tin cans. The tree house was about six feet above the ground and is anchored upon the mango tree beside our abode. (background song: pana-panahon ang pagkakataon maibabalik ba ang kahapon.*laughs*)

We dressed up ourselves. We were the Power Rangers! The Magic Knights! The Bananas in Pajamas! I can’t imagine that we used to have that kind of imagination. Truly remarkable! After watching the way those kids in the movie create such magnificent world with their minds, I almost remember what it felt like to have imagination as vivid as that, to think of things in their best light. Then, it made me wonder where all those imagination have gone to. What went wrong? When have I turned into a person whose realism almost border on jaded cynicism? What made me give all of those things up?

Then I realized, REALITY happened. LIFE happened. Which is why now, I don’t see the world as I did years ago. But is it for the better? Is my seeing the world through the eyes of realism making me a better individual? Well, I think in some ways it is. It made me more ready of the battles ahead. But for the most part it’s not. It only made me suspicious of the world and quite frankly, more pessimistic – always expecting the worst things to happen because some things are just too impossible to happen (spoken from the perspective of an unimaginative person).

As Believers, what should be our stand in this? I believe we must have both. Realism and imagination should come along in harmony. Although we understand how things work in life, we must not be afraid to imagine, and to expect these imaginations to come to life. In the problems and trials that we encounter, we must remember the biblical Truth that with God nothing is impossible. He can accomplish things far more than we DARE ask or IMAGINE (Ephesians 3:20-21). Being too serious and too realistic can sometimes rob us of the joys of being youthful, even of our salvation.

In this note, I would like to end this post by quoting Jess from the movie: “What good does being too serious do to a person anyway?”

Nice Kind of Shock

While everybody else is doing their merry-making, we (the ever FUN campus) are spending our time on books, calculators, exams. BEST summer ever!

Ok. So I was nursing a very foul mood just a while ago… I realize that I have an impending clash of appointments due to some prima donna date switching.

See, I have a flight this morning (4:30AM) and it’s still unknown to me whether I am required to take the final exams in org chem or not (scheduled today as well). Honestly, I don’t really care about the grade increase. As long as I don’t have to repeat the entire ordeal that is the subject organic chemistry, I’m cool with it. By now, I realize that I am not really ambitious and that my goals in life are not that high. (It boils down to that same question, “Why bother?”)

So there. I really have no idea what to say to my parents, as well as any inclination of what to do. I was really more than willing to dive headfirst from our roof deck to the streets of Nakpil and Malvar when some stroke of luck happened and I received a very auspicious message from Jaira. The missive informed me that I’m not among the people who will take the finals.

I'm exempted? I'm exempted!

IMAGINE my SHOCK. Absurd truly. But it’s still an Amazing Grace.

Thus this blog came to be. Conflict was solved. I can go home tomorrow with a clear conscience and light heart. Let me say this simply. I DID NOT DO ANYTHING ON MY OWN TO BRING THIS BLESSING UPON MYSELF. My dormmates can attest to that. I think, by now, most of the people around me can attest to this lack of effort on my part as well.

But I’m not really that ashamed about that lack of effort on my part. I won't apologize for believing that it is His will to make life easy for us...Well, He made it so much easier for me. And I just really want to let the whole world the truth. God made all these not me. I bring all glory and honor to Him!

He’s really faithful in His promises. This summer it was:

Ephesians 3:20-21
“His power at work in us can do far more than we DARE ask or IMAGINE. Amen.”

See, the difference when we do things on our own effort is that we'll have a tendency to brag. I DID IT. I WON. I. It's all about ME. We end up being like Kuzco of the Emperor's New Groove. We become successful, but we also become prideful.

On the other hand, when we let God do it for us, we become successful. But we realize that apart from His grace, we are NOTHING. Thus, we end up being successful AND humble. We not only become victorious. We also develop CHARACTER.

"Our nation does not need competence. It needs CHARACTER."- Nixon Ng

***********************************

Enjoy vacation! Trust in Him - WITH ALL YOUR HEART, WITH ALL YOUR SOUL WITH ALL YOUR STRENGTH. Don’t hold back. And He shall direct your path.

Be happy!
^_^

David Cook vs David Archuleta

Location: SM Mall of Asia Concer Grounds
Persons involved: David Arch, David Cook, 40,000 fans
Event: the Epic Back-to-Back concert
Accommodation: Gold



Archie = better singer (more good looking in my humble opinion... if you wish to dispute that, well...)

The kid really can SING. His voice was amazing. Even from our seats, I can feel the 'hagod' (pardon, i truly don't know the english of this word) of his voice. Most especially when he sang the song "A Thousand Miles" I can hear people screaming "Marry me!" from all directions...


Cookie = better performer (more seasoned, I can tell)

The man is really comfortable with his stage. I'm using the possessive noun because when he's there it's like he owns it. A total performer because he managed being professional the entire time (despite the family matters). I feel genuine sympathy towards him... what with him being here and not beside his brother. Anyway, for that, I admired him more.

The two Davids = REALLY CLOSE

Yeah. I truly don't see the point of people trying to have them compete against each other. For one, it is very obvious that the two get along REALLY well. Another thing is, they are from different genres so it's hard to find a basis of comparison between the two in terms of music styles and prowess. They address different audiences so there's no point. Really.

THE CONCERT?

One night of pure enjoyment. I loved it. I don't regret going there instead of burying myself in textbooks and calculators.

If you wanna see their performances, I uploaded them in my youtube channel, WEIRDYAEF.... Some of the videos were taken by ArchuletaPhilippines (Archie's fan club in the Philly) from the Titanium area. They're very clear. I also uploaded videos from my CP.

To facilitate your search:
http://www.youtube.com/view_play_list?p=C7247236BBFF168B =>purely archie vids
http://www.youtube.com/view_play_list?p=80D23B35CB026018 =>mixed performances


P.S. ENCORE! ENCORE! ENCORE!

On Cultural Capital

New Kids on the Block... Welcome to the life of hardships. ^_^

Ridiculous slippers which amount to three pairs of shoes. Bag expensive enough to buy a wardrobe. Confident attitude. What else? Ah, yes. The phone. The designer clothes. The talk of grand condominium units and schools.

“Wow! Rich kid ka nga talaga…”

As I heard these words, I was torn between annoyance and amusement with the way the boy actually expressed them. I was sorely tempted to say (with an arched eyebrow, if I might add): Ahm, yeah. She is a rich kid. Anyone who's not born yesterday can see that.

*******

At around two o’clock today, I found myself joining the queue of people waiting for their ‘medical clearance’ in the UP-PGH health service. Much to my annoyance, my efforts in securing my medical report last semester ended up in vain.

See, I hate LONG LINES. Why else did I pay for my pediatrician’s signature (even though I can have it for free in PGH) if all along, I will still end up being inconvenienced? Heck. Anyway, I don’t have much choice. Better to just get on with it.

As if that’s not enough stress, I had to endure the suspicious glances thrown at me by the FBCs (Freshmen Block Coordinator). They thought I was a member of a sorority. I was, of course, curious as to what prompted these unfounded ideas of theirs. Like, really. The student that I’m talking to is a GUY. Why should I let him in a SORORITY? Besides, I always find the notion of recruiting a freshman student stupid. The risks are just too costly. Not worth the effort if you’ll ask me since one can never decipher if a freshman student is an asset or not. Not to mention the fact that they are the most vulnerable and most likely to end up shifting. But then, I’m not a member of any sorority (nor do I have any plans to join one).

Anyway, as I was saying earlier, I met a bunch of prosperous-looking students along the queue. It did not occur to me at first but after hearing their conversations (I know it’s extremely rude to eavesdrop but considering the confines of the place, I really don’t much choice, do I?) my mind went into motion. Since I was bored and had nothing to do but THINK I’ve come up with this notion.

*********************************

Based from the incredulity that I heard in the kid's voice, I can only deduce two things. Either he can’t believe that the girl is REALLY rich (although she looks like it) or the fact that the girl intends to study in UP despite her obvious station in life. In my humble assessment, I believe it’s the latter.

Well what can I say? There are still people naïve enough to believe that UP is inhabited by financially challenged students. If you are studying in UP, you will have no doubt that this entire idea is a LIE. At least, for the most part it is. Okay. So there are still some who are indeed financially unstable in the said university but those are REMOTE cases. They don’t even add up to ten percent of the population (especially in UPM where the costly medical courses are being offered).

I can’t help but see that the current trend of education in the University of the Philippines reflects the nation’s system regarding education. In a country where education is given much value (the fact that we are ready to go through hunger and poverty as long as we are educated is a proof of this), it pains me to know that RICH kids get the BEST education even in PUBLIC schools.

Now, I’m not saying that it is their fault they passed the UPCAT with flying colors. It’s to their credit after all. They studied well, did well and did not pass the test by merely putting their annual income on their answer sheets. They are honestly qualified for the standards of the said institution.

Which brings me to another matter. See, there’s this thing called CULTURAL CAPITAL. This is what the rich kids have as advantage. They can afford means to increase their potentials. They have unlimited access to internet, encyclopedias and books. They can hire tutors for themselves. They can attend symposiums and see the frontiers of science and technology. They have far greater CAPITAL in terms of exposure compared to students from other stations of life.

I know this, because I had the chance to study in both public and exclusive private school. I saw the difference. And even when I was studying in public school, I did notice that more often than not, it is the well-off student who excel. Again, cultural capital is a factor.

All I’m saying is that, by convention, those who have access to the resources (by this I mean the rich) get higher scores because they are most likely to go to better schools, get the best reviewers, get access to more resources and ends up getting MORE. BETTER. So indirectly, their wealth lands them better opportunities in life.

LIFE IS UNFAIR.

I know. But one shall not have to despair. After much deliberation about this unfairness, I’ve come to the conclusion that we have the gift of choice. You either do something about the problem or not do anything. Cynicism and pessimism, in this case, is not an option because they will only bring you to more defeats than victories.

Rich or not, it’s still the one’s attitude that counts. By the end of the day, we still see that we just have to do our best to get the most out of what we have, make do of what we have and find ways to augment things which are lacking. This may not be easy but it is also NOT IMPOSSIBLE because we have a God who provides, a God who wants us all to be victorious. After all, RESOURCES can get one to success. But it is still ATTITUDE that KEEPS him/her there.

**************

Well, after finishing my musings, I glanced at the clock, surprised that it has been an hour already. Now, where in the world is that consultant? Half an hour later, I found out that I waited in vain and could’ve gone home much much earlier. The meeting with the consultant was not necessary. The nurse just OVERLOOKED the fact that my pediatrician already signed ‘FIT TO ENROL’ in my assessment sheet. The bureaucracy of the Philippines, indeed. But then again, had I not wait, I wouldn’t have pondered on these thoughts. Then, you would not have this blog to read.

Again, my motto: NO REGRETS. JUST LESSON LEARNED.

To Break the Monotony

Why not? Take the plunge!

Life is short.

Recently, she found another side of her that was never known to anyone (not even by herself) before. Because of this, she is quite certain that for as long as we all live, we will never cease to surprise ourselves. There will always be that part of us that will be kept hidden. The part where only the Almighty knows. The part which couples often take a leap of faith for when they decide to tie the knot for better or worse. She believes this was designed to be so, for us not to get too bored with our lives. Imagine a life where a person acts, thinks and speaks in exactly the same way that you have predicted him/her to do so. It definitely could get boring.

Okay. Where was I? Ah, yes. I was talking about that part of herself that she only recently found out. Many of her former acquaintances would find this very astonishing but she turned out to be a laid-back, really quick-to-get-bored-with-everything-around-her kind of person. Fancy that, they all thought she was the type A, determined, hardworking, SENSIBLE kind of lady any parent would be proud of. But, NO. The case is quite the contrary.

She’s tired of studying. She needs a change of scenery.

Which is why she would go to Tagaytay tomorrow.

****************************************

Did you buy that? Well, I hate to break it to you but, that my dear, is a defense mechanism called ‘rationalization’ (with a little bit of projection). As you may very well know by now, she could never get tired of studying because in the first place, she doesn’t study at all. But yeah, that bit about her surprising herself and all has some truth in it. ^_^

********************

Behold, the reasons why she is about to take a break tomorrow.

For one, SHE IS ENSLAVED. And she needs to evaluate whether or not she wants to continue this modern form of slavery.

And she refuses to be enslaved to lessons that she cannot use in REAL life yet she NEEDS to learn because society DEEMED it necessary for her to learn them. Every grain of her being goes against it. Every time she looks at her professors and listens to them, her mind wanders and all she could think of is:

“Man, what am I doing here, learning about isomers, carbon chains and all these loads of things as useful as fur coat in a desert, when I can be somewhere learning far more valuable things in life?”

See, by nature she is a rebel. She loves it when she goes against the majority especially when she knows she has a point. In the past, this trait had led her to many disasters and if she’s wise, she better get on with it, swallow the bitter pill and do things exactly the way other people do them.

THE WAY OF SOCIETY:

To be successful, you need a source of income. To have an income you should be working. It may be for yourself or for other people but nonetheless you need a certain credential to convince other people to put their stock in you. In short, to get somewhere, you need to be a graduate of something. And, to earn that ‘graduate of something’, you need Chem 1001, Math 2002, etc, etc, which, I’m afraid is not related to your chosen field at all.

Her rebellious side battles with her pragmatic side. Whether which side will win is a constant source of amusement for her. But fear not. God will not let her choose one which she will regret later. His grace abounds her. ^_^

**************

Right now, since she can’t resolve any of these matters she’d rather take this opportunity to relax and unwind (as if! She’s been doing nothing but relax and unwind these past days!). But anyway…

Four days in Tagaytay
+
Free board and lodging
_____________________
God’s answer to Faye’s prayers.

***************

By transitivity:

She=Faye____________Faye=Me______________She=Me

(I see. So there’s a use for all that gibberish after all.)

I just think (in my humble opinion) that there are better ways to spend life. It is too short to be wasted on doing something that you don’t want to do (a sure formula for failing by the way).Besides, God wants us to have a quality life. ^_^

Matthew 6:25
“I tell you not to worry about your life. Don’t worry about having something to eat, drink or wear. Isn’t life more than food or clothing?”

verse 27
“Can worry make you live longer?”

verse 33
“But seek first His Kingdom and righteousness, and all these things shall be added unto you.”

I bid you all a productive holiday! Don’t worry. Be happy!

Unang uno

“Hindi ko nakita ang kanyang sulat, subalit nabatid kong kanya nang binilugan ang aking grado. Nagpasalamat ako at nagsimula nang umalis. Nang ako’y lumabas na, saka ko lamang ito tiningnan. ABA’T MANTAKIN MO? Parang gusto kong balikan si Sir para tanungin kung ako’y ginugood-time lamang niya. Pero hindi. Pinirmahan na niya ito kaya nangangahulugang seryoso siya. Isa lang ang aking nasabi pagkatapos nito: MAY HIMALA! Kay buti Niya!”…

Unang pako ko po ito mula sa UP Manila. Hindi matatawarang tuwa at kagalakan ang aking naramdaman nang aking mahawakan ang puting papel na naglalaman ng kabuuan ng aming pinaghirapan para sa ikalawang semestre sa taong ito.

Mahigit isang oras din akong naghintay sa labas ng Department of Social Sciences (ipagpaumanhin po ninyo kung ‘di tama ang pangalang ito) nang aking mapansin ang tagaktak ng pawis na dumadaloy sa aking leeg. Napagdesisyunan kong mas mainam kung sa loob na lamang ako ng opisina maghihintay. Di hamak na mas malamig doon. *labas sa pinag-uusapan*Sadyang kay init na ngayon ng Maynila. Tila magiging mayaman ang mga botika dahil araw-araw akong mapapainom ng pain reliever para sa aking migraine.

Maheat stroke man kami, dapat pa ring mag-aral! Mas mahalaga ang edukasyon kesa kalusugan! (SARKASTIKO)

Nang lumaon ay hinarap din ako ni Sir Karganilla. Ako’y nabigla sapagkat naaalala niya ang aking pangalan. “Faye, tama ba?”, ang kaniyang turan. Akalain mo ‘yun? Datapwat ako’y hindi gaanong ‘umaariba’ sa mga eksamen (ipagpaumanhin po ninyo ang katamaran ko sa pag-aaral ng aking mga leksyon), nalaman kong may mabuting idinulot din pala ang aking pagiging maingay sa klase. ^_^

Ipinapakita lamang na ang pagiging maingay ay nakakatulong din. Hindi sa lahat ng oras, tayo ay dapat tahimik. Ang susi ay nasa tamang paggamit ng kaingayan.

Pinahanap niya sa akin ang aking class card at nang akin itong natagpuan, agad ko itong ibinigay sa kanya. Ang sumunod na mga segundo ay nagmistulang taon. Bakit ang dami niyang pinipindot sa kanyang kompyuter? Di yata’t hindi pa tapos ang aming grado? O sadyang mababa ang aking nakuha? Ako’y nabalot na ng kaba. Pero nagpakatatag ako. Kailangan ko ang class card para ako’y makapagenrol!

Hindi ko nakita ang kanyang sulat, subalit nabatid kong kanya nang binilugan ang aking grado. Nagpasalamat ako at nagsimula nang umalis. Nang ako’y lumabas na, saka ko lamang ito tiningnan. ABA’T MANTAKIN MO? Parang gusto kong balikan si Sir para tanungin kung ako’y ginugood-time lamang niya. Pero hindi. Pinirmahan na niya ito kaya nangangahulugang seryoso siya. Isa lang ang aking nasabi pagkatapos nito: MAY HIMALA! Kay buti Niya!

Pako (uno)! Sa Unibersidad ng Pilipinas! Gusto kong tumalon!Sumigaw!Humiyaw!… Pero siyempre, hindi ko ito ginawa. Alam kong ako’y pagtitinginan ng mga tao at wala akong pagnanais sa hapong iyon na mapagkamalang nasisiraan ng bait. Kung kaya, ako’y naglakad na lamang na parang nakalutang sa ulap at may ngiti sa aking mga labi.

Bagamat masaya ako sa balitang ito, sa huli, batid ko na hindi ko ito gawa. SIYA ang gumawa nito para sa akin. Sadyang mabuti Siya at kahit sa mga taong katulad ko ay kanyang ipinamamalas ang kabutihang ito. At MAS masaya ako sa balitang ito.

Muli, aking ibinabalik ang lahat ng pagpupuri sa Kanya. Salamat po Ama! ^_^

Home.Cereals.Family.SUMMER VACATION

This is a more eloquent version of one of my bulletins. To give you some background, currently, I am academically free - NO MORE EXAMS, PAPERS, REQUIREMENTS. This is the end of the second semester of my freshman year. Hold on for a sec! A year has passed?? Is this for real? It seems like it was just yesterday that I walked down the aisle of South Cotabato Gym and Cultural Center. But, anyway, moving on…

Like yeah!

It’s cool because tomorrow I’ll be home. Despite the briefness, of this respite, i am still VERY happy. A respite (no matter how short) is still better than no respite at all… ayt? ^_^

…….
As you may very well know by now, I am fond of making lists. If you happen to see my planner, you will not doubt this claim of mine.

…….

Things to do when I’m home:

1. Gather as MANY - cereals, fruits, chocolate-laden stuffs , nuts, milk, ice and syrup - as possible
2. Make my own cerealicious! (jumango, the k after tomorrow, oreo and juliet, etc, etc)

=>In case you’re wondering what #1 is for, #2 is the answer. See, for months now, I have been craving for cerealicous bowls! However, I refrained from indulging myself because it is expensive and is WAAAYYY cheaper when made at home. I definitely need to go home. And no. Before you assume anything, cerealicious is not the only reason that I want to go home (although a good portion of it is). ^_^

3. vaccine update

=> A requirement for the duties next sem. Be ready my arm!

4. physical exam (must remember!)

=> I am not a fun of queues. In fact I detest it. Which is why upon seeing lines of people waiting for the UP-PGH health service’s physical exam, I took it upon myself to seek a way out. A sheet of paper. A sign from your physician. There, MY way out.

5. SLEEEEEPPPP (finally!)

=> Not that I’m deprived or anything. On the contrary, I sleep. Always. (You may ask my blockmates how frequent I sleep in lectures and breaks). But sleeping this vacation is a different kind of sleep. I can’t entirely explain what it is. All I can say is that, the kind of sleep that I’m looking forward to is more serene than the dozing that I’ve been doing for the past sem. ^_^

6. TRAVEELLL (no traffic! whew!)

=> I love traveling — just not with the blaring horns, humidity, poisonous smoke and turtle-paced traffic of the city. And what better way to experience this than our 180km/hr speed-limit-highways in region XII? ^_^

7. Take pictures (of stuffs) => The usual, if you must know.
8. Watch TV to my heart’s content (remote’s mine, you hear me? mine!)

=> Did you hear that dad? ^_^

9. have fun with my family (you bet!)

=>I don’t need to elaborate. After months of being away, my mother’s nagging every morning now seems like a very good idea. Sleeping early and waking early also seems to be more appealing because I get to see members of the family doing their chore. I also miss our three-hour breakfast sessions.

10. PRAYER and QUIET TIME W/ GOD (come on!)

=> The one thing that I have been yearning for for a long time! Now I can read His word, talk to Him more and get to experience Him in a deeper way! I’m excited! ^_^

…….

people to see:

1. AD

=>I HIGHLY doubt this. If I ever get to see him, then i must say, it is not luck. It is God’s will. He is God’s will. Or is he really Lord? ^_^

2. newlileo 07-08 (it’s been what? a year?)

=> I haven’t been to our gatherings simply because we always have a conflict of schedules. I will, however, find a way for myself to be available this time. See you soon! ^_^

3. Isaacs and friends fr. 08-09
=> I believe I must see you now because it would be more difficult in the following years. By the way, kudos to you guys,! ^_^

4. cousins

5. new members of the brood (sons and daughters of cousins)

=> It seems to me like we’ve been growing ever since the last time I’m there. I must meet these new members, or else I’ll be calling them all ‘baby’ until they’re seventy-five years old.

6. our dogs! (pluto, you better be a good mutt! or else….)

=> I know it’s supposed to be a list of ‘people to see‘ but this is my list. I want to see them though they’re dogs. So there.

7. our land caretakers (i miss their banters)

=> Aside from their lively banters, I also miss their easy camaraderie, their loyalty to my parents and their dedication to our lands. They actually inspire me. ^_^

8. my former enemies (the best way to defeat one is to befriend one!)

=> No ulterior motives here. I just really want to settle some loose ends.

9. my sisters (well,,,,)

=> Need I say more? ^_^

10. my parents (naturally,,,,)

=> I want to take care of them. I miss them too.

….

There you go! I do love making lists! ^_^

…..

It will be a long time before I can post something here again.

til then!

Tricycle a la South Cotabato

(one of the things that remind me of home)

Well, Dreams Do Come True

I must confess, this semester was a bit of ‘au contraire’ to my former personality.

I used to be competitive and idealistic. Now, I am just contented to give what is needed, not seeming to give my best. I haven’t yet decided on whether this is a good thing or not. But anyway, I won’t dwell on that. I have many days to think about it when I’m home. ^_^

************************************************************************

Last week my father asked me (while they were here) things concerning my schedule. Although I am aware that our class will end on the 3rd of April, I boldly said that I can make it to the first of April. For some reasons, I knew at the back of my mind that I will be home on April 1 (despite some glaring evidences that prove otherwise). Right there and then, I put my trust in Him. I relied on Him in making this desire of mine true.

************************************************************************

Yesterday, I fasted. I prayed. I prayed for my exemption as well as of that of the block’s. I prayed for things that I always wanted God to know about. The economy, poverty, crimes, hatred, my indolence. It was quite a long time since I had the chance to do this (because of some prior engagements) and I was just so happy with the peace and joy that I experienced once again from talking to my Savior.

I know many people who don’t have a relationship with God will find this ridiculous but this morning, at exactly 1:12, God told me not to worry because He will put everything to right. And indeed He did (put everything to right, I mean). ^_^

*************************************************************************

Today, when I woke up, i was still in the mood for prayer. But I decided to go to CAS instead to see our Chem exemption. Prior to that, Kryszia already told me that I was exempted from N3, so the only thing that’s coming between me and April 1 homecoming is CHEM 14

***************************************************************************

Though students dread the make-or-break DPSM Bulletin Board, they are still drawn to it.

***************************************************************************

I waited SEVEN agonizing hours for the LIST. I already tried everything in my power to get rid of Mr. Boredom. I sang. I spoke English to Henri, Ann and Stephen(with an accent… XD). I danced. I walked (in fact, I think my sartorius and soleus muscles are complaining right now because of all those walks). But to no avail. I was still bored. I think the SA in DPSM is already familiar with me by now, but The List is still missing in action. However, I didn’t stop from pursuing it. Like a man in love, I did everything in my power to have access to it.

At around 5 I held it in my hands and it was like seeing Mr. AD for the first time! I felt so happy and excited! What’s more is that I got exempted! Talk about God’s grace!

***************************************************************************

Now, you may be wondering why I keep on saying God’s grace.
For one, in the greek origin, grace is ‘charis’ which means gift or favor - something that is freely given (without expecting anything in return). And certainly, grace applies to all those miraculous things that happened in my life (including the result of my exams). I did not do anything to deserve it, yet God has been good to me.

Three exemptions? Quite impossible! Why? I did not even study the ‘Red book’. I read it probably once (Although I skipped the part of cardio, respiro and lympho. I just can’t afford to stay awake after reading a page). I do not have extensive collections of buddy stuff (since I have no buddy) which I can use to prepare myself for the exams. I sleep on lectures (though i try my hardest not to). I have no tolerance for long hours of studying nor do I have any special form of intelligence to enable me to remember all those stuff that my professors talk about. My weapon? Nothing much really. It’s simply relying on God’s strength and grace during the trying times. And it is definitely more effective than anything on this planet (if you wanna dispute that, well…). ^_^

***************************************************************************

God wants to help you and God can help you.
1. God wants to help us!

–>He LOVES us and always wants to help us (despite all our sins and unworthiness). This is the essence of grace. We did not and cannot earn it. Jesus already won it for us when He died on the cross. Ask in the name of what He has done – God will pour out His blessings, you’ll see! ^_^

2. God can help us!

–>He is powerful enough to help. He made everything. If you know how complicated our organ systems are, you just might have an idea of how omnipotent our Lord is. Cast your cares upon Him and He will give you rest!

To doubt the latter is absurd. To doubt the first is unthinkable. ^_^

***************************************************************************

Before I go home, I just want to say: Make things in your life easier! Let go and let God! ^_^

**************************************************************************

P.S. Congratulations to all those who were exempted! You brought glory to our Father! You make me proud of you as well! See you on April 14! Have a fun vacation!
^_^

E-technology - Is It Bane or Boon?

“The world is just a click away!”

What was once a dream is now a living fact with this very popular statement. How far have we gone in terms of technology?

Looking back at our early days, students used to do things their own way. They used to go to the library and do researches of their assignments manually. They write their own projects. They also get to literally jot down the notes of their classmates if they happen to miss their class. If you’re lucky, you can look for a typewriter and do your paper works with it, but sad to say, it is as rare as an oasis in the middle of a desert at those times. And not having a good penmanship was not an option. Whether you write legibly or not, you have to do these things yourself.

With the coming of age, computers were introduced. Years later, printers were made available to the public. Nowadays, we get to enjoy the portability of laptops or even palmtops and it is already a common thing to see hotspots (Wi-fi ready places) everywhere. With just a click we can be informed of what we want to know. We don’t have to write down notes, we have photocopying machine! Students don’t have to go and read tons of books; all they need to do is consult Mr. Google and, poof! They get what they’re looking for.

So, how come the literacy rate of the Filipino students keeps on declining and declining?

This may be attributed to technology’s demerits. I remember an incident with my classmates before. They were graded ‘failed’ by my teacher because they were caught submitting the exact same (emphasis on same) movie review — word per word! Is it coincidence? No. They had the same source from the internet! Two crimes here are cheating and plagiarism (punishable by laws by the way). And luckily for them, they were still given a second chance by my teacher. Apparently, they were caught by the disease of ‘indolence’, a disease that now seems to constantly plague the Filipino youth, and seems to be reinforced by the convenience of technology.

God never makes anything without a purpose. The invention of computers, internet, printers and all these gadgets was made possible because He believed that we need them. They are here to come to our aid. The burden lies upon us to use them wisely.

E-technology per se is not bad in the same way that money is not bad. It is the wrong use of these good things that makes them that way. It is up to us then, whether we’ll use it for our development or our detriment.